Thursday, 24 January 2013

Untitled - by Patrick

Last year 350 people called the emergency services to check if they were dreaming or not. Checking if you’re awake has become big business since a government report dismissed the traditional pinch method as inadequate. Books and DVDs have flooded the market, specialist services assist clients in verifying their reality in any situation. TV ads run all day and billboards ask, ‘Are you awake now? Can you be sure?’

It’s common to see people jumping up and flapping their arms. If they start to fly they know they’re dreaming. I once watched a whole crowd of people take off like a flock of pigeons. I waited for them to wake up until I realised I was the one dreaming and woke myself.

I can’t fly, even in dreams, so I’ve hired a man to come and punch me in the face every hour. He’s a lean man, looks like Frank Sinatra. He wears a red boxing glove on his right hand, keeping the left free to open doors and sign invoices. He’s left-handed but delivers a strong enough punch with his right. 

As I wait nervously anticipating the latest blow it occurs to me that hiring a man to punch me in the face is something I’d do in a dream. Maybe I dreamt about him and am now awake. What if I’ve fallen asleep because he forgot to turn up and am now stuck in a dream? I go over to the mirror and attempt to punch myself in the face but my fist instinctively resists a heavy impact. I take a few slugs of whiskey to loosen up, swing my arm round, miss my face and fall backwards. I pick myself up, stagger to the phone and dial 999.

(writing exercise - 'life of the party' from 3AM Epiphany) 21/01/13 

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

'Jessica Rabbit Has Lost Her Car' - by Suzi

Jessica Rabbit has lost her car.

It is somewhere in a multi-storey car-park in Norwich.

Not only has she lost her car but also her car keys, her pink lipstick and her favourite hairband.

Jessica Rabbit is very sad.

To make matters worse, she has shrunk.

She is now so tiny that if she found her car she wouldn't be able to drive it. She wouldn't even be able to open the door.

She is so small that if she managed to get inside she'd be able to stand under the clutch or the brake pedal and still have room above her head. 

Not that she can of course get into her car because she has lost her car keys. They are somewhere with a pink lipstick and a hairband. They are somewhere but they are not here.

How did all this come to pass?

Jessica Rabbit is not sure. She is fairly certain that this Monday morning started out like any other but where it all went wrong is a mystery. It might have been the horrid pressure of the sales. So many people crushed into so many shops, all so desperate for the bargain of the year that they push and trample one another. Or perhaps, just perhaps, it was something you did... yes YOU...feeling guilty are you? What did you do to Jessica Rabbit?

Did you shrink her? Why? Why did you shrink Jessica Rabbit? Why would you do that? 

Jessica Rabbit is very sad and to top it all off she's lost her car. It's somewhere in a multi-storey car-park in Norwich.

(writing exercise - 'life of the party' from 3AM Epiphany) 21/01/13