I open the back door of the community hall and step into the cold evening. As the door closes behind me the thump of that awful music and the shouts of the party are muffled.
I breathe a sigh of relief and wonder slowly through the car-park. Perhaps I can pretend I'm getting something out of the car. A jacket.
There's someone else now, someone else has opened the door. I hear the music momentarily loud and treble before returning to a bass thump as the door closes. It's Graham's nephew. The annoying one.
'You having a good night Colin?' he asks, lighting a Cigarette, 'What are you doing out here?'
'I was just getting something out of the car. A jacket.'
'Yeah? Where are you going? It's sweaty in there. It's a good party. No need for a jacket in there.'
'I'm just going to the shop. I need to get something. I need to get...' Think of something. Think of something plausible. 'A newspaper.'
'A newspaper?' Graham asks, bemused, 'At 10 o'clock at night?'
'Yes, I like to read yesterday's newspaper at breakfast, whilst eating a Pan au Chocolat. I'm going to get a Pan au Chocolat as well.'
Graham looks confused at this. I get my coat out of the boot of the Passat and begin to walk, no idea where I'm going. Why am I walking through this estate so late at night? Why am I not in the party "enjoying myself"?
My phone vibrates in the pocket. It's the wife. I ignore it and put it back in my pocket.
'Nice phone Granddad', I turn round. It's a gang of teenagers, oh god, where am I? 'What are you doing out so late at night?'
(writing exercise - 'life of the party' from 3AM Epiphany) 18/02/13